Nothing outside you is going to heal you (Part 2 How I stopped being "Mentally Ill" & got off pills

 If you don’t deal with the trauma HEAD ON--no medication, drug, alcoholic drink,  cigarette, sex, television, music, NOTHING is going to heal you. 

I was 14 when I was “diagnosed” and told I’d “be on medications for the rest of my life.”  I’m a genius--it can be proven with tests. However, people I trusted told me something was wrong with me and medication would fix it. Alhough I had a hard time making sense of it, I believed them. I would go off the meds from time to time and when my mother didn’t like my “behavior” I would go back on them. 

Why? One word: FEAR.

I was a people pleaser and I was desperate to feel better and get over the rape and all those years my dad molested me, I was desperate to escape the current reality at home, I was desperate to escape the tormenting I was getting at school because of it. 

My whole life was about escape. Television, books, writing my own stuff,  movies, music, boys (and some grown men--that’s a story for another time) and drugs. 

(Pills until I was 17 when I tried my second drug: Weed. (I was already a full fledged alcoholic at that time.)

People fail to acknowledge that we can’t escape our trauma with drugs---prescription or otherwise. 

If you don’t deal with the trauma HEAD ON--no medication, drug, cigarette, sex, television, music, NOTHING is going to heal you. 

It’s like throwing dirt over a cut every day. You’re not cleaning the cut as you should, you’re making it infected. The longer you throw the dirt, the worse that cut gets. And the blood & puss from the cut spills out onto every area of life and every person around you.

“If you don’t heal from your wounds, you’ll bleed on people who didn’t cut you”